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Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
"The Lei Giver" 24x48 oil on canvas
"My Muse, My Captain, My Elusive Mentor"
I consider you to be my prison
as if every breath wore a bell
tied to a circumstance
never to be forgotten.
I sit in a garden
under my umbrella
creating music from the rain.
I hear your whispered greetings
soft but clear.
My mind traveled spaces
to interrupt you.
How do I find my place?
How do I continue on?
I handed you a petal
white with lavender edges
I am so very far away from holy.
I am not the unicorn nor pegasus
that I described in all my musings.
I stumbled on all the stars
they are not mine
and yet
I miss them so
and listen for their breathing.
At midnight I am still awake.
I hear you.
I take in all your sacrificial offerings
sift out my own impurities
feel the sadness
of not realizing them before
not wrapping up hope
and protecting it there
amidst the shadows.
In many ways I do not love you.
You must not be surprised
it comes from years of self
seeing ones own image
studying it
defining it
hoping for the best
waking up disappointed.
Legends
I feel them.
You simply do not fit.
You insist on being unique.
I follow
and find my own circumference
intrigued
yet never measuring up.
There you are
in the rain
not sharing my shelter
I guess you do not need it like I do.
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
18 March 2007
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